Friday, December 31, 2010

Life On The FOB: Part 8 - Driven To Drink

Happy New Year!  We would love to toast the New Year with some bubbly.  This, unfortunately, is not going to happen.  If there ever was a place that would drive one to drink, then this might be it.  However, it is a US Central Command prohibited activity.  Heck, it's a prohibited New Jersey in-training activity as we unfortunately discovered back in July and August.  Therefore, in the spirit of making-the-best-of-your-situation, I present the Top Ten FOB alternatives to drinking.

10. Drink the near beer.

Is that a lager or an ale?  Does it matter?

9.  Drink a double expresso chai latte' while yearning for the good old days when you got 12 hour-old percolated black turpentine from a 5 gallon stainless steel coffee urn served in a mugged cleaned annually for the de-ratting inspection.  Just kidding.

Clean styrofoam cups just don't have that 'oomph.'

8.  Drink the bottled water.

Dare ya.

7.  Drink the tap water.
Double dog dare ya.

6.  Continue the quest for the clean latrine (helpful after all that drinking).

5.  Perform life-saving surgery (helps to be sober).

4.  Ponder how cool the Air Force PJ's and Navy SEALS are.

Living in the drink.

3. Ponder how cool Dave, the orthopedist, is.

Let me check that non-alcoholic label again.

2.  Tire-rolling.

Got to work up that thirst somehow.

1.  Did I mention the near beer?

It's the thought that counts.

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